Monday, April 20, 2009

Buried Treasures....

This is going to be a long post and might be good for a laugh: you may want to keep a caffeine stimulant nearby to maintain consciousness, but avoid anything hot that might be projected on liquid-sensitive electronics. I am observing a theme this week: Buried Treasure! The pictures below have something in common, although it may not be apparent at first glance. If you've arrived in search of a clue to locate the mouse-eared variety of buried treasure ferreted away by my favorite feathered friend Ducky...I've begun by sharing a picture of the file she has hidden on her site and will provide more obvious clues as the saga below unfolds. *grin*

<----This is a Petsafe electronic dog collar. I bought it on eBay awhile ago because it has an audible warning option to barbecuing the deranged dog who thinks that frolicking in the center of the road and calls to COME! have more to do with playing tag than genuine safety or discipline. The dog also charges the terrified mail lady as she delivers packages to my door, making it very difficult to convince her that the fence actually IS high enough to contain the monster. THIS had to stop. Soooo....on the day that this wonderful invention arrived, the dog was present as usual to perform his ritual fit at the fence where he successfully drove the uniformed intruder away...but not before she managed to deliver this box. The projectile landed at my feet where she launched it over the gate, and the dog danced with excitement when I carried it into the house and tried to open it with a box-cutter while avoiding the investigative wet black nose that kept getting in the way. OH joy! The collar had arrived!! We've owned one of these before, and the dog recognized it the instant I withdrew the remote control. I didn't see him for the remainder of the day. While he was missing...I stitched a longer strap to the one provided (the monster has a much larger neck!) and replaced the short-hair electrodes with longer ones which would be more likely to penetrate the monster's woolly coat. When he reappeared at mealtime, I bestowed the new necklace on the despondent critter and marveled at the fit. Fast forward several weeks. The dog has been behaving fabulously! I haven't even had to barbecue him because the warning noise is all that was required on the three occasions I felt it was necessary to hide the remote behind my back! Our mail carrier no longer lives in abject fear of the monster lunging at the fence, and actually has been comfortable enough to approach the gate and toss the mail and packages right on the porch or hand them to me! YAY! Fast forward another week...My partner is working in the yard, and notices the dog carrying something that looks suspiciously like a manila envelope... with entrails hanging out. A game of tag ensues, and he captures the prize: a half-chewed, mostly slobbered-upon red bra which I purchased online. GRRR!~ My partner is almost as annoyed as I am, because the neighbor enjoyed watching this game of tag over the fence and then told him that the color didn't suit him. A day or so later...the electricity went out, and since I'd already read every book in the house and couldn't mangle email, do laundry or even play loud and expressively annoying music... I decided to expend my energy working in the back yard. While collecting tools that my partner had left out under the grapevine, the maniac dog frisked past. He was carrying an envelope. My first thought in hindsight was pretty ridiculous: HEY! He's delivering the mail, now! COOL! The battery was dead on his collar --something my partner had discovered during his romp with the bra bandit-- and I knew that it was now sitting harmlessly on the table indoors. So did the dog. Retrieving that envelope was QUITE a workout. I ran a marathon to get it, and I was disgusted when I realized that the prize was simply a Hydro bill. While I stood there huffing and clutching the soggy paper, it finally occurred to me: the question that I should have asked when the gnawed garment had first been recovered. WHERE is the REST of his treasure buried?!
(Are you still thinking about Ellen's red garden??
Ooo GOOD!!! Because the next picture is a CLUE!!
It's a beautiful FRAME within a FRAME!)

It took some time to find the monster's treasure: he'd hidden it very well. I discovered several packages and a small mountain of soggy junk mail, flyers and bills at the back of his kennel. The second bra that I'd been waiting for was in there, along with 10 packages of hermafix refills ALSO purchased on eBay, a package FILLED with brads that I'd ordered for scrapbooking, a postcard from Singapore, and three books that I'd never be able to read. I couldn't tell if the pages were fused by natural moisture or by the bandit's unnatural saliva. I could not identify one of the packages: It had been partially gnawed open and I had no idea what it might be or where it was from. The heavily bubble-wrapped contents may have deterred the canine fruitcake from destroying it, since exploding objects near his jaws would have been uncomfortably reminiscent of the day he bit a balloon. There was nothing left to identify the sender, and it had clearly been weathered outdoors by rain and the fluffy white menace with teeth. I packed everything indoors, sat down at the computer and promptly ordered TEN batteries for the electronic collar (the device will NEVER be rendered impotent again!)...and deliberated the concept that perhaps this animal isn't quite as cellularly challenged as I first perceived: I suspect that he's been thieving mail from the deck for several weeks and "burying" his treasure in the kennel...ever since the collar arrived!

I dreaded opening the bubble-wrap: I was certain that whatever it could not have survived whatever it had suffered. I had no idea how long it had been in there, but it looked like it may have been an eternity in bubble-wrap years...and they might be measured in dog years. But there it was, and the mystery was solved while I sat in amazement: it was signed, and it was in pristine, beautiful condition. (Thank you God!) MANY weeks ago, I answered a few questions that this wonderful lady had when she was dealing with an infected computer. I never dreamed that she would acquire my mailing address or insist on mailing a gift to express gratitude-- much less something this beautiful. She made it herself, and because she had signed it... I knew where it came from. THANK YOU Carol!

I can't imagine what how ungrateful it must have seemed that anyone could receive a gift without a word of acknowledgment--- the delivery may have been a bit delayed, but it is even MORE appreciated than you realize because you made it and signed it, and it genuinely WAS a buried treasure!
As for the mail bandit...I threatened to barbecue the fiend next time I caught him lunging at the mail carrier or the fence, but he seems to think I'm bluffing. I'm still waiting for the batteries I ordered online. And I'm beginning to wonder if he got to them before I did.

Are you ready for another clue??
It's YOUR turn to search for buried treasure!
<-----Can you find this character buried on one of Ellen's pages at Ducky's Designs?

Please leave us a message...if you leave an email address I'll send you my dog. I'd rather have a hibiscus in my garden, too!

XO Char


Sherri Piechnik said...

I looked ALL OVER her blog for this guy and couldn't find it ANYWHERE. Felt so foolish. My family thought I was nuts. Even had my 13 yos looking for it. LOL

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